Lately I have been feeling a bit bored with the way things go. I am truly fulfilled and love all 9 million hobbies that have gotten me through these spells, but lately I am not in the mood for any of them. This eventually results in me watching some terrible show on the computer. We chose to not have television in our house but it is just too damn easy to find crappy tv on the internet these days. For instance: I have not missed an episode of Teen Mom Season 3 yet! And now I have seen all episodes of Dance Moms! That is only four but still. I am not sure it gets worse than that with the exception of Housewives of (insert city). I tend to find something that holds my interest for a bit of time but get bored of it and move on to something else. I usually cycle back but I honestly can't force myself these days. In the past 7 years home I have learned to: sew, felt, cook, bake, make jewelry, ferment foods, homebrew, garden, and a slew of other things that have fallen of my radar. All of these things make me happy but none of them fit my current desires. I am starting to wonder if maybe it has to do with the fact that my girls are getting bigger and need me less. This is the longest I have gone without being pregnant or having an infant in 8 years. They are both wiping their own asses, pouring their own water, dressing themselves, and most importantly playing together or alone quite nicely. That leaves me on my own to fill my time with things that just don't excite me. This is not a change that I expected. I never imagined a time while being at home with small kids being dull. Again, I am not unfulfilled. Happy as a clam in this little life. Do I need to push that further? I feel truly blessed that we have been able to work it out so that I can be home and watch my girls grow. I just really didn't think that would ever include me time between 9-6. So I am now on a journey to find some happy things to fill that me time. Most likely by the time I figure it out, things will change and me time will go back to the 1.25 hours before bed.
I am certain that there are cupcakes and cookies that I could be happily baking at these times but will refer back to Oven Woes to explain that. So if you feel like inviting me over to feed you baked goods, my lines are open! Otherwise suggestions and rude comments about how lucky I am and should not be whining are welcome.